First Day of My new Life Stephanie Plum
by Laura17
Summary: Stephanie goes away to sort out her life


**Disclaimer I do not own any of the Stephanie Plum characters. I do not make any money from this writing it is for my sole enjoyment only that I post this for your enjoyment. - Thank you for taking the time to read this.**

"Stop" I put my hands up between us trying to gain back my personal space in the alley by the bonds office.

"Babe" was all Ranger said before trying to close that gap I had made between us.

"I'm to old for this shit" I tell him "You pull me into this alley every other day kiss me until my toes curl and my knees go weak than you leave and run cold with me until the next time you feel the need for a quick fix" I tell him stepping away and getting into my car to drive away.

"Men" I scream out to no one in my car" Can't live with them can't shoot them" Well maybe I could if I put bullets in my gun and my gun wasn't at home in the cookie jar.

Ranger was just one of the two men in my life causing problems the other Joe Morelli, Trenton Cop and my on again off again boyfriend, who as of last week was off again but last night he made the can we get on again call at 10 o'clock. I wasn't home and I let my voice mail pick it up. As confused as I am about Ranger's hot and cold feelings for me I'm the sure way with Joe's feeling. One minute we are making plans for the future the next we are screaming and storming out.

I love both men, I love them differently but I'm pretty sure equally. How is that fair to them? How is that fair to me? I noticed I drove to my secret hiding spot. I found this place in Hamilton Township about a year ago. No one from the burg. No Joe. No Ranger, all though my car has a tracking system installed and I carry a GPS pen in y purse that beams my location into the control room of Rangeman, he has never followed me here. Sometimes I feel like a traitor t the Tasty Pasty, but the bakery in Hamilton Township is my safe haven from life. They have little tables I can sit at and look at the pasty case.

And that is just what I did. I was sitting there enjoying my 3rd Boston Cream looking at the éclairs when I made my decision. I pulled out my phone and dialed the number I knew so well.

"Hey there you get my message last night Cupcake? His voice was full of hope

"I did Joe, but I'm not going to be able to meet you for lunch". I tell him

"Well I can bring dinner tonight" he offers

"That's not going to work either"  
"Why not"? He questions I can hear the unasked question in his voice.

"I need sometime to my self I need to be alone to figure some things out" I hear him take a deep breath.

"What things?" he ask I can hear the dread in his voice

"I love you, Joe, I do but" I take a pause and he finishes the sentence

"But you love him to" he says with no surprise or hate in his voice. I found myself surprised at that.

"It's not fair to any of us I need to be alone for a while to figure it out." I tell him again

Joe was quite for so long I thought maybe he was gone when he spoke again"Well Cupcake you are right. You know where I am when you figure it out and don't forget I'll be here because I love you either way" and with that he was gone and I realized a tear was falling down my cheek. I guess Joe was ready for me to make a decision as much as I was. It was nice to know he would be there no matter the outcome.

I ordered another Boston Cream and made another call but this time all I got was voicemail.

"Yo" I said "I need to get away for awhile. I need to figure out my confused feelings. Do not worry about me I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. I will leave the GPS systems behind" and I hung up. I wondered if Ranger felt the same way as Joe.

With my decisions made I drove to my parent's house."I need to borrow the Buick".

"What's wrong with your car?" my mother asked

"Nothing. It's fine and right outside" I tell her "I'm leaving town for a little while and I need to use the Buick so you can sell mine for me" .

"Why are you leaving town" she ask

I really didn't want to get into this with her she would probably just tell me to choose Joe and have a house full of kids but something in her face made me sit down and tell her everything.

At the end of my story we were both crying and she says" I never knew you had those feelings for this Ranger, I though it was just friendship".

"No Mom, Ranger is everything Joe's not he's freedom and flying and well Joe's everything Ranger is not, love life and tomorrow. Why can't they have some accident and mold into one person?"

"Because Stephanie" my mother holds my hand and rubs it with comfortable touches "You can not have freedom with a guy you want a tomorrow with" and that was precisely my problem. I want both freedom and many many tomorrows.

"please let us know where you go Stephanie and try not to stay away to long" Mom tells me as she is packing up leftovers for me to take

"I will mom but you can't tell them"

" I will protect you my dear and your heart" my mom says as she walks me to the Buick "Your dad will get good price for the car and we will send it to you as soon as you are settled , what about your apartment?

Crap "I don't know I guess it depends on how long I'm gone.

"Maybe you can sublet it. I'll put an ad in the paper" she tells me not to worry she will handle everything and pack up whatever I don't take with me.

I go home pack up everything I could, grab Rex and the two of us head south. I kind of felt like Ranger, I got into a zone thinking about my situation and before I knew it I was in Daytona Beach FL.

I stripped out of my Rangeman hoodie, ok so it was Ranger's, and I exchanged my Property of Trenton P.D t-shirt, ok so it was Joe's T.P.D. t-shirt, for my, yes mine, Rose pink Tank top, kicked off my socks and shoes and went walking down the beach. It was 3:00am on March 1st and it was the first day of my new life.

As I sat on that beach in Daytona I realized I need a job and a place to live I guess I could always fine a bondsman and offer my services, but that was the old confused Stephanie and thankful to the last crazy FA I took in before I left I had $10,000.00 in my bank account. As I watched the sunrise over the ocean I made my plan a new place to live, I didn't need fancy but clean and safe were important and I needed a new job 10 grand was a lot of money but I was going to need more eventually. But what did I want to do? Here I was in the South it was a different world. There was still snow on the ground when I left Trenton, dirty nasty mush is what it was and here I sit on a beautiful sandy beach in a tank top and bare feet, a definite improvement in my life already. As my stomach growls the need for breakfast I find a newspaper and a diner and go inside. I order the Ham Eggs Grits and biscuit plate and a cup of coffee, open the paper and look at apartments. I had found several in the Holly Hills area when the waitress came back with my plate.

"Do you know anything about Holly Hills? I ask her

"You new to town Darling?" well duh

"Yes and I'm looking for somewhere to live I don't know the area, is it safe there?"

"My daughter and her friends live up there, it's a nice place for the young crowd but if you are looking for someplace for our family I would suggest Port Orange, it's more suited for the family life good schools to." She tells me I also saw ads for Port orange I couldn't afford the prices to even look so Holly Hills here I come.

I was amazed at the place I found One bedroom studio with a upstairs loft. It was bigger and newer than my apartment back in Trenton and it didn't even overlook a parking lot, no it had a view of the water. I was in love and the best surprise the rent was lower than I paid in NJ. I signed a 1 year lease I figured if I left before than I could sublet.

As I sat on my floor in my new empty apartment I made a list of what I wanted for my new job.

1 Good Pay

2 Flexible hours, at least nothing early

environment , I was hoping to leave the crazy stalker in NJ, but I did pack my gun the box of bullets , my stud gun and a can of mace just incase

4. On or Near the beach. I noticed a lot of job opening for the upcoming season that could be good.

What I found was a job tending a beach bar not far from my studio just across the River. Daytona Dave's it open at Noon and closed at 3 AM it was accessible from the beach until 11pm but after that you still could come inside. I tended bar in college I never thought about doing it again but the job meet all of my requirements and I actually enjoyed it.

As a bartender I listened to a lot of the tourist problems I think giving them advice is one of the things that helped me decide to make a phone at the end of September.

I t had been 7 months and I had done a lot of thinking a lot of soul searching. I spent countless hours lying on the beach outside of the bar just thinking about my two guys. After Labor Day the beach gets quite and the bar is reduced to just the local regulars. I have meet two guys since I moved in March.

Raymond or Ray as I now call him reminds me a lot of Ranger. When he looks at me my panties don't melt but he's a great listener. He listens to my problems he doesn't offer advice just a lot to think about. I think about that stuff and he listens again. Ray also has a great shoulder to cry on

My other man is Jason who reminds me a lot of Joe again not in the panty melting way but he's strong and solid, he's great to talk to. The two of us would spend hours after work just talking. We talked about my problems his problems the day the night the weather the city we talked about everything. Jason was also a great shoulder to cry on.

I still can't believe Jason and Ray are such a fabulous couple, but than I once told my mom if Joe and Ranger molded into one they would be the perfect man so why not.

It was late in the afternoon of the 27th of September Jason and Ray were sitting in my studio waiting for me to get a clue.

"Just call him Steph" Jason said

"One phone call and you will know"

It's been 7 months since I heard his voice, both Joe and Ranger had respected my wishes and didn't try to find me. My mom had told me both of them check with her regularly on my health, safety and sanity, but they have never asked her to betray where I am. That meant a lot to me, Ray was right if I just heard his voice I could decide. I would know for sure.

"Fine I'll do it" I said as Jason got us all a beer for the fridge. Ray was sitting across from me at the breakfast nook holding one hand Jason had taken a spot behind me resting a hand on my shoulder, both trying to share their strength.

I dialed the still familiar number the phone in Trenton rang 3 times before the voice mail picked up. I heard his voice but it was a recording.

"I am unavailable for your call; leave your name and number I will return your call upon my return"

I wondered if he was out of town it was the message he normally left when he went away. Than it said

"PS if this is you I love you"

I lost all of my nerves and I hung up

"What" the guys said in unison

"It was voice mail" I tell them

"So why didn't you leave a message?" Jason asked

"He said he loved me"

"On his answering machine?" Ray asked

"How could he love me? Why did he put that there? It's been 7 months why would he think I would call and heat it?" I was crying I knew my answer I Loved him to and hearing that today meant everything to me, but why was it on his machine after all this time.

It took me a week to get up enough courage to call back. The phone in Trenton rang 3 times and the same message picked up but this time at the end it said" PS if this is you I still love you please leave me a message this time."

Oh crap he knew I called. Of course he did he always knew.

"Hi" I said into the phone "I Love you to"

I had tears falling from my eyes he would be able to hear them he always could. I hung up the phone sat down on my floor and cried. That was where Jason and Ray found me that night.

"Steph darling" Jason called out in his southern drawl "what's wrong Darling?"

"You missed your shift Dave was worried about you" Ray told me

"Shit I forgot about work" I said sitting up drying my eyes

"Don't worry about Dave, he was just concerned for you like we are" Ray said as he held me.

"Tel us what happened"

I called him again I go this machine again but I left a message. Why did it take 7 months for me to know what I always knew deep inside? I asked

"Maybe it was so deep in you, you just need the time and distance" Jason told me with a kiss on the forehead.

"Has he called back sugar" Ray asked still holding me rubbing my back.

"Not yet" I sobered

"Well if he is out of town like you said he probably can't get the message" Ray reasoned just as my phone rang all 3 of us just sat there and starred at it afraid it would bite if we answered ot. On the 3rd ring I took a big gulp of air "Hello" I answered

"You want to talk?" he asked

"Can you come here?" I didn't want to do this on the phone I needed to be close to him.

"I can be there tomorrow" he tells me

"Tomorrow is good "I smiled

"Tomorrow it is Cupcake" Joe answers before he hangs up. Tomorrow is the first day of my new life and I plan on having a lot of tomorrows with Joe.


End file.
